Hi, I’m Caley - a trauma-informed therapist passionate about the connection between mental and physical health. I support women, especially moms, who are navigating anxiety, identity shifts, and the lasting effects of trauma. I currently offer virtual therapy to clients in Virginia, Florida, Rhode Island, South Carolina, and Connecticut.

And I want to talk about something that comes up a lot in my sessions and in my own story: Click to read.

Because here’s the truth, trauma doesn’t just live in the past. It shows up in your nervous system, your relationships, your sense of safety and sometimes, in ways you don’t even realize.

If you’ve ever asked yourself:

“Why am I so sensitive?”
“Why do I react like this in relationships?”
“Why do I always feel like something’s wrong even when everything is fine?”

You might be carrying unresolved trauma from childhood.

And you’re not alone.

What Is Childhood Trauma?

Childhood trauma isn’t always about one single catastrophic event. Sometimes, it’s the cumulative impact of chronic emotional neglect, unpredictability, or unmet needs. It’s what happens when your body and brain learn that the world and your own emotions aren’t safe.

Examples of childhood trauma include:

Emotional neglect or being ignored
Parentification (taking on adult responsibilities as a child)
Growing up with a parent who had substance use disorder or mental illness
Physical, verbal, or sexual abuse
Experiencing abandonment, divorce, or loss
Being shamed, criticized, or made to feel “too much”

Trauma isn’t defined by the event, it’s defined by the impact. If something overwhelmed your system and you didn’t have the support to process it, your body might still be carrying it now.

Learn more about how childhood trauma affects the nervous system.

What Does Unhealed Childhood Trauma Look Like in Adults?

Many adults are living with unprocessed trauma without even realizing it. Because often, these behaviors feel like “just how I am.” But they’re actually adaptive survival strategies you learned to stay safe.

Here are some common signs:

1. Chronic Anxiety or Hypervigilance

You’re always on edge - waiting for something bad to happen. Even in calm moments, your body doesn’t fully relax.

2. People-Pleasing and Lack of Boundaries

You say yes when you want to say no. You’re afraid of disappointing people. Conflict feels dangerous.

3. Perfectionism and Overachieving

You feel worthy only when you’re doing. You may burn out easily and struggle to rest without guilt.

4. Difficulty Trusting Others

You expect abandonment, betrayal, or rejection. Intimacy feels unsafe, even when you crave it.

5. Emotional Shutdown or Reactivity

You either feel too much all at once or nothing at all. You may numb out, dissociate, or lash out.

6. Negative Self-Talk and Low Self-Worth

You carry an inner critic that constantly tells you you’re not enough, too much, or both.

7. Relationship Struggles

You may find yourself in cycles of codependency, caretaking, or pulling away before you can be hurt.

8. Unexplained Guilt or Shame

You feel bad for taking up space, having needs, or setting boundaries even when you logically know it’s okay.

Why It’s So Hard to Recognize

One of the most painful effects of trauma is how normalized it can become.

You might think:

“It wasn’t that bad.”
“I turned out fine.”
“Other people had it worse.”
“That was a long time ago, I should be over it.”

But healing isn’t about comparing your pain to someone else’s.
It’s about honoring your experience and giving your body the safety it didn’t get back then.

What Unhealed Childhood Trauma Looks Like in Adults

What Healing from Childhood Trauma Looks Like

Healing doesn’t mean forgetting the past.
It means you’re no longer ruled by it.

You begin to:

Recognize and interrupt survival patterns that no longer serve you
Reconnect with your body and learn how to regulate your nervous system
Set boundaries from a place of self-worth, not fear
Develop an inner voice that’s compassionate instead of critical
Build relationships rooted in safety and trust
Give yourself the care you once needed but didn’t receive

You don’t have to do this alone.

Therapies like EMDR, somatic approaches, and trauma-informed talk therapy can help your brain and body safely process what you've been holding for years.

CBG Counseling - Modern therapy specializing in EMDR therapy for trauma and motherhood anxiety in Virginia, Rhode Island, Florida, South Carolina, or Connecticut

Learn more about trauma-informed therapy for women here.

FAQs: Unhealed Childhood Trauma in Adults

Q: What are signs of unhealed childhood trauma in adults?
A: Some signs include chronic anxiety, emotional numbness, people-pleasing, perfectionism, low self-esteem, trust issues, and difficulty setting boundaries.

Q: Can childhood trauma affect adult relationships?
A: Yes. It can cause fear of abandonment, attachment wounds, codependency, emotional withdrawal, or reactivity in relationships.

Q: What is the best therapy for childhood trauma?
A: EMDR, somatic therapy, and trauma-informed therapy are all evidence-based methods for processing and healing childhood trauma.

Q: Can trauma be stored in the body?
A: Absolutely. As described in The Body Keeps the Score, unhealed trauma can show up as physical symptoms, chronic illness, or nervous system dysregulation.

You Can Begin Again

You didn’t choose the pain that shaped you but you can choose how you move forward.

Healing childhood trauma doesn’t mean becoming someone new. It means coming home to who you’ve always been underneath the survival patterns.

As a therapist, I support women across Virginia, Florida, Rhode Island, South Carolina, and Connecticut who are ready to explore their trauma, reclaim their self-worth, and create relationships that feel safe and nourishing.

If you’re ready to begin, reach out to schedule a consultation. You deserve to feel whole. You deserve to feel safe. And you don’t have to do it alone.

What Unhealed Childhood Trauma Looks Like in Adults (and How to Start Healing)